Senior Track
Words of Wisdom
Below is a beautiful poem, a favorite of the lovely Audrey Hepburn,
used when asked to share her "beauty tips". It was read at her funeral years
later.
"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out
the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a
day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed - never throw out anyone. Remember, if you
ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your
arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one
for helping yourself and one for helping others." |
Wisdom from Will Rogers
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935,
was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever
known. Enjoy the following:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither
works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put
it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by
reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them
have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every
now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good
he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him. The moral:
When you're full of
bull, keep your mouth shut.
First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting
in line for.
Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I
want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long
way and some of the roads weren't paved.
Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.
Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either
dries up or leaks.
Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to
the top.
Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day
has been.
Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with
sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf
And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't
have anything to laugh at when you are old.
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More Wisdom from Andy Rooney
As I grow in age, I value
women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
-
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night
to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you
think.
-
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't
sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do.
And, it's usually something more interesting.
-
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who
she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women
past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or
what she's doing.
-
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive
restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to
shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
-
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They
know what it's like to be unappreciated.
-
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her
women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even
her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other
women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to
her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
-
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your
sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
-
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far
sexier than her younger counterpart.
-
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right
off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever
have to wonder where you stand with her.
-
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in
yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old
waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the
milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women
are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.
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The
nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
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Money
will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
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After a
certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are
probably dead.
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The
trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
bucket.
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Be
careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like
it.
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Think
about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team is
winning.
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There
are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It
could be a right number.
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A good
time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
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If you
don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at
all.
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Seat
belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
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How come
it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to
become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
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"Rules for Living"
-
Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.
-
No one is thinking about you. They're
thinking about themselves, just like you. (This is especially
important at parties if you feel self-conscious.)
-
Never change haircut or color before an
important event.
-
Nothing is either as bad or as good as it
seems.
-
Do as you would be done by, e.g., thou
shalt not kill.
-
It is better to buy one expensive thing
that you really like than several cheap ones that you only
quite like.
-
Hardly anything matters: If you get upset,
ask yourself, 'Does it really matter?'
-
The key to success lies in how you pick
yourself up from failure.
-
Be honest and kind.
-
Only buy clothes that make you feel like
doing a small dance.
-
Trust your instincts. Not your overactive
imagination.
-
When overwhelmed by disaster, check if
there's really a disaster by doing the following: a.) Think
oh, f- - - it!; b.) Look on the bright side. If
neither of the above works, then maybe it is a disaster so
turn to items 1 and 4.
-
Don't expect the world to be safe or life
to be fair.
-
Sometimes you just have to go with the
flow.
-
Don't regret anything. Remember there
wasn't anything else that could have happened, given who you
were and the state of the world at that moment. The only thing
you can change is the present, so learn from the past.
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Sometimes we all
get a little to stressed with our live and we forget to remember
when life was great. So for today be a kid again and forget
about acting your age:)
-
Give yourself
a gold star for everything you do today.
-
Grow a milk
mustache
-
Open a pack of
cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both
of them for yourself
-
Have a staring
contest with your cat
-
Kiss a frog
just in case
-
Make a face
the next time somebody tells you "no"
-
Ask "Why?" a
lot
-
Believe in
fairy tales
-
Have someone
read you a story
-
Wear your
favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't
match
-
Do a cartwheel
-
Hide your
vegetables under your napkin
-
Make a "slurpy"
sound with your straw when you get to the bottom of a
milkshake
-
Sit really
still for as long as the dog is asleep in your lap
-
Find some
pretty stones and save them
-
Stick your
head out the car window and moo if you see a cow
-
Walk barefoot
in wet grass
-
Giggle at nude
statues in a museum
-
Make cool
screeching noises every time you turn a corner
-
Count the
colors in a rainbow
-
Fuss a little,
then take a nap
-
Take a running
jump over a big puddle
-
Giggle a lot
for no real reason
-
Do that
tap-someone-on-the-shoulder-while-you-stand-on-their-opposite-side-and-they-turn-around-and-no-one's-there
thing
-
Enjoy your
all-time favorite candy-bar (Forget you've heard of calories!)
-
Throw
something and when it lands make a cool exploding bomb noise
-
Squish some
mud between your toes
-
Buy yourself a
helium balloon
-
Put an orange
slice in your mouth, peel side out, and smile at people
Doesn't it make
you smile just thinking about it? :)
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Life
may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we may as well
dance. |
Old
age ain't for sissies! (Bette Davis) |
He
who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. |
One
who is slow in making a promise is most faithful in the performance of it. |
The
pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more. |
One
who is ashamed of asking is afraid of learning. |
The
secret of vast riches begins with a single penny. |
You
cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of
the shore.
|
Don't
fish for compliments-you never really catch anything. |
People
who don't know where they are going, usually wind up somewhere else. |
Andy Rooney's Thoughts on Life
-
I've learned.... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer
it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
-
I've learned.... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
-
I've learned.... that when you're in love, it shows.
-
I've learned.... that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
-
I've learned.... that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of
the most peaceful feelings in the world.
-
I've learned.... that being kind is more important than being right.
-
I've learned.... that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
-
I've learned.... that I can always pray for someone when I don't have
the strength to help him in some other way.
-
I've learned.... that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
-
I've learned.... that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold
and
a heart to understand.
-
I've learned.... that simple walks with my father around the block on
summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
-
I've learned.... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything
we ask for.
-
I've learned.... that money doesn't buy class.
-
I've learned.... that it's those small daily happenings that make life
so spectacular.
-
I've learned.... that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants
to be appreciated and loved.
-
I've learned.... that even the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What
makes me think I can?
-
I've learned.... that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
-
I've learned.... that love, not time, heals all wounds.
-
I've learned.... that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to
surround myself with people smarter than I am.
-
I've learned.... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a
smile.
-
I've learned.... that opportunities are never lost; someone will take
the ones you miss.
-
I've learned.... that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock
elsewhere.
-
I've learned.... that I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her
one more time before she passed away.
-
I've learned.... that one should keep his words both soft and tender,
because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
-
I've learned.... that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
looks.
-
I've learned.... that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what
I
do about it.
-
I've learned.... that when your newly born grandchild holds your little
finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
-
I've learned.... that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
-
I've learned.... that the less time I have to work with, the more
things
I get done.
~Andy Rooney
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Technology can sometimes be a way of organizing the universe so we don't
have to experience it. |
Those who dream by day see things that escape those who only dream at
night. |
We fight to great disadvantage when we fight those who have nothing to
lose. |
Speak only good of people and you will never need to whisper. |
It is fine to believe in ourselves, but we must not be too easily
convinced. |
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get. |
A good remedy for conceit is to sit down and
make a list of all the
things you don't know. |
The person who does things that really count, usually doesn't stop to
count them. |
Liberty is one thing you cannot have unless you give it to others. |
You wouldn't worry so often what others think of you if you knew how
little they do. |
Successful people are able because they THINK they are able. |
In this world, there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. |
If you want to be successful, you must first transform yourself into
someone who wants to succeed. |
A failure never becomes a hopeless mistake unless it stops you from
trying again. |
When you're dog-tired at night, maybe it's because you've growled all
day. |
Never claim as a right what you can ask for as a favor. |
The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment
to the next. |
Competition brings out the best in products and sometimes the worst in
people. |
Flattery is like cake - if it causes you to want more, you have had too
much. |
Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that
matter. |
Timing is everything. It's as important to know when as to know how. |
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